


His Two Sons

by iamatheatrekid



Category: Onward (2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Gay Barley Lightfoot, Good Older Sibling Barley Lightfoot, Oops, Sad Ian Lightfoot, Trans Ian LightFoot, but we know how the story goes, dead dad, shouldve proofread, yeah ian doesnt want to come out to his dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27282955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamatheatrekid/pseuds/iamatheatrekid
Summary: Deep down, Ian had always been a little grateful that he missed out on an awkward conversation with his father. But, now it was looking like the conversation would have to be had and he was Not doing well.And Barley could tell.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	His Two Sons

**Author's Note:**

> i should have proofread this a little more but i didn't

Ian couldn’t stop checking his watch. He didn’t enjoy any time-sensitive things, but this was even worse. Part of him wanted the time to run out, some dark, twisted part of himself who knew that was the only way to guarantee his dad wouldn’t be disappointed in him. Ian couldn’t stop replaying an image in his head of his dad’s sad eyes behind a face trying to be happy. He only saw him smiling in old pictures, so this face was so foreign to him. And he didn’t want to see it outside of his imagination.

Barley could sense his unease, but nothing he could say or do could alleviate it. He did, though, try. They had many stretches of silence on their journey, times where their minds were only running around with ideas and thoughts of this being their only time with their father. The silence was even heavier with Ian’s rattling anxiety and, driving into the night, Barley couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Hey,” he said softly to snap Ian out of his gaze. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” Ian squirmed in his seat. “Yeah, yeah, no, I’m all good.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Ian might have thought that he was doing well hiding that he was actually _not_ all good, but his eyes flickered over to his dad sitting in the backseat, which Barley was able to catch while he wasn’t focused on the road. Barley sighed, trying to figure out a way to approach the conversation, it had been a while since they had talked about it, and even longer since they talked about it concerning their dad.

“You know he’s not going to care right?”

Ian focused on the blurring lights outside his window. “I don’t know…”

“No. He’s not going to care. I mean, he’ll be cool with it, Dad and Mom were both very progressive.”

“That doesn’t mean he wanted another son.”

Ian had come out as trans years ago, back in middle school, and that was the single hardest thing he ever had to do, even compared to beginning to master magic. His mom was super supportive, which relieved Ian greatly. Barley was of course cool with it and, when Officer Bronco put two and two together, he wasn’t extremely weird. 

The one good think about not having a dad was not having to tell a dad. He dealt with the dead naming in old letters written to him and was forever thankful that both him and his dad had neutral memories of each other.

He wished he could have been excited to be able to tell him, to be honest, but he couldn’t.

“Ian-,” Barley sighed.

“I just don’t want him to be disappointed.”

“He won’t be disappointed.”

“He might be. He’s expecting to meet his daughter-”

“And instead, he’ll meet his amazing son. Who’s smart and caring and magical. You’re not going to be the daughter he was expecting, you’ll be the son he never expected. In a good way.”

Ian finally met Barley’s eyes, which were still not on the road. He smiled softly and mouthed, “Thanks.” Not because Barley just gave him the courage to come out, he was still scared out of his mind, but because Barley could always reassure him like that.

He held his hand throughout all of life, but still let go when he knew it was best. Now, they were a bit too old for hand holding, but the same sentiment was still there in Barley’s warm eyes telling him that everything would be okay.

He was the first person Ian came out to. Their mom had left the house to go on a date and the two of them sat at the kitchen table eating what Barley had prepared them for dinner: bananas and pretzels (he was limited with not being allowed to use the oven). The house was quiet, but it was comforting.

Barley was flipping through his latest pack of cards for Quest of Yore and Ian couldn’t keep his eyes off him. He had realized weeks before that he was transgender, the feeling inside of him finally having a name, and, while he was deathly terrified, he was itching to tell someone. Barley happened to be in the right place at an optimal time.

“Hey,” Ian started by saying in a pathetic squeak. 

Barley didn’t really acknowledge that Ian had spoken, so he continued by asking a safe question, “You know about transgender people?”

Barley shrugged. “Yeah.”

“I think…um,” he was starting to stop himself. He had to quickly try and hurdle through what he wanted to say before he lost courage. “I think _I_ might be…um…transgender.”

Now Barley stopped with the cards. He stayed staring off in the distance, deep in thought, before turning back to his brother. “Really?” He asked.

Ian quickly nodded. “Like, you’re a boy?”

“Basically, yeah,” Ian said.

Barley sat back in his chair and sighed. “Wow.” Silence settled as his brain ran around with millions of questions he didn’t want to ask. “So, um,” he finally came around to saying. “Are you going to, like, change your name and everything? There must be a spell to-”

Ian laughed. “I mean, I’d like to. I just…” his voice trailed off into uncertainty.

“Do you have a name picked out?”

He did not at the time. There were wizard names the two of them played with as kids and Ian always chose a male persona, but those names felt too silly now. And Barley had a pocketful of even more silly names. The two of them tried out new names, playing around with them behind their mom’s back until Ian told her and she joined in on the fun.

They decided on “Ian” after months of trying and Barley convinced him to have his legal full first name be “Iandore,” both for the magical feel and to make fun of his little baby brother easily.

_“Dad’s name wasn’t just ‘Will,’ it was ‘Willden.’ Just ‘Will’ is boring.”_

_“Iandore sounds silly though.”_

_“It sounds awesome.”_

He was there for every part of Ian’s transition, and Ian was there for him when a rainbow pride bumper sticker appeared on Genevieve. 

“You know that’s not the trans flag, right?” Ian had asked.

“Yeah, it’s the gay one,” Barley responded, while still focused on the duct tape he was using on the carpeting.

That had shook Ian’s world for a hot second, but it was the most they had talked about it. Now with half a dad in the backseat he wondered if Barley would talk to him about it, but Ian knew better than to ask.

They were both, in a way, thankful for having so much time in advance to plan in their heads what they would say to their dad, or do with him.

But the time they spent did not prepare them in the slightest to what actually happened. Ian ended up upset that he didn’t get to tell his dad, if he was disappointed or not, he still wished his dad got to know. He tried to mask his sadness while watching Barley, but couldn’t help himself.

When Barley came over, he wiped his tears. “What did he say?” He asked eagerly.

“He wanted me to tell you that he’s proud of you. Of his son.” 

Barley smiled softly while Ian’s frozen heart disabled his body of any movements.

“And he wanted me to give you this.” Barley wrapped Ian into a hug. Except, Barley didn’t disappear.

He hadn’t disappeared throughout all of Ian’s life, throughout all of the important times, and he wasn’t disappearing now.


End file.
